swine flu, really weird name, but now it spreads everywhere, and it attracts everybody's eyeballs. Actually I think the panic spreads much quicker than the flue itself. Today so many friends asked me to cancel my business trip to US early next month as they do care about me and do not want I take any risk.
Being a person who has experienced Sars, I do understand how panic works and influence to people in Mexico or US right now. I still remember 6 years before, almost same time, the Sars broke out in Beijing. At that time almost all media including news paper, TV, network full of death report and sharply increase infected data everyday. I have to say the mental pressure was much more intensive than virus at that time. After Sars I feel I becomes stronger and rational when face such type disaster. So this time I do not plan to cancel my trip, just go there as my plan as I know I must experience what I should experience. Maybe I really have two personalities deep inside me, I am quite decisive and resolute in business, but extremely frail and shilly-shally in emotion, really should mix them a little bit, because I don't want to be a strong business woman, also don't want to be a poor sentimental little girl.
Seems my words far from to the topic today, so now I draw it back, however I hope the swine flu will never come back and I will have nice first trip in US.
April 30, 2009
April 25, 2009
noon nap lazy bear
Saturday evening, what should I do after a nice dinner with family? Actually I want to go out for some drinks, perhaps a cocktail or a glass of wine before I go to bed, but pity all friends not available tonight so I have to kill the time at home. It is also not bad choice, later will check if any friends on MSN or skype, so we can chat a little bit via network instead of face to face.
Really quiet and relaxed day today, after seafood lunch, I went back home and had a noon nap, actually I have quite long time without noon nap, feel good of it especailly when sunlight shone in from the window and warm covered me, really did't want to get up and just lazily lay there. I do enjoy warmth whatever it is from sun or his body, warmth can make me feel safe, cozy and relaxed, guess still my skin hunger works.
In one week I will fly to US, this is first time I go there, and just myself, that's why I am not really excited. But I will try to arrange a nice trip, I am still curious of San Francisco anyhow as almost everybody says it is a nice place to visit.
Really quiet and relaxed day today, after seafood lunch, I went back home and had a noon nap, actually I have quite long time without noon nap, feel good of it especailly when sunlight shone in from the window and warm covered me, really did't want to get up and just lazily lay there. I do enjoy warmth whatever it is from sun or his body, warmth can make me feel safe, cozy and relaxed, guess still my skin hunger works.
In one week I will fly to US, this is first time I go there, and just myself, that's why I am not really excited. But I will try to arrange a nice trip, I am still curious of San Francisco anyhow as almost everybody says it is a nice place to visit.
April 24, 2009
cozy night with love in heart
finally an exhausted working week is over, this week makes me almost no time to breathe, but now I feel much better and can complete relax in my private cozy apartment, only do something I like and talk to the one I love. The wind roar out of the window right now, but in my space, only warmth and sweet with me.
So what I should expect in such quiet, peaceful and lovely evening? Guess only one answer in my deep heart, that is staying with the man I love, and spend a romantic night together. Candle light dinner, mellow red wine, little bit drunk, long French kisses, gently body contact, then exciting love making untill fall in asleep in his arms, absolutely it is a perfect night for an emotional woman like me, also I am sure he will be drunk as well when realize this dream together with me because I know how much my love and I mean to him.
Dream is always beautiful, but reality sometimes cruel, however I believe if my heart with love, I will have such nice dreaming life sonner or later.
So what I should expect in such quiet, peaceful and lovely evening? Guess only one answer in my deep heart, that is staying with the man I love, and spend a romantic night together. Candle light dinner, mellow red wine, little bit drunk, long French kisses, gently body contact, then exciting love making untill fall in asleep in his arms, absolutely it is a perfect night for an emotional woman like me, also I am sure he will be drunk as well when realize this dream together with me because I know how much my love and I mean to him.
Dream is always beautiful, but reality sometimes cruel, however I believe if my heart with love, I will have such nice dreaming life sonner or later.
April 22, 2009
Der Leser
finally I watched the movie -The Reader today. I read this book more than one year before, I was touched then, but also feel it is really heavy story, so I am little fear to watch after I downloaded moive one month before. The movie mainly followed novel, but the actors and actress make the story even more impressive.
Two scenes in the movie really stir up my feeling, one is when Hana moved out her apartment, the boy desperately lay in bed and try to catch up her last warmth and flavor, another is when Mike knew Hana died, then he suddenly broke down. At that moment my tears burst, I clearly feel love is that uncontrollable, it can suddenly come to our lives full of surprise, also can leave without any sign and only mark regret and sadness in deep heart.
Everybody hopes to catch up every drop of love, but only few of us know how to cherish what we have now, when we unconsciously waste the love in hand, perhaps the one crying will be us tomorrow.
Two scenes in the movie really stir up my feeling, one is when Hana moved out her apartment, the boy desperately lay in bed and try to catch up her last warmth and flavor, another is when Mike knew Hana died, then he suddenly broke down. At that moment my tears burst, I clearly feel love is that uncontrollable, it can suddenly come to our lives full of surprise, also can leave without any sign and only mark regret and sadness in deep heart.
Everybody hopes to catch up every drop of love, but only few of us know how to cherish what we have now, when we unconsciously waste the love in hand, perhaps the one crying will be us tomorrow.
April 19, 2009
friends day
just finished a lunch and coffee with some friends in such cool rainy weather, guess only two things suitable for such weather, one is lie in bed, another is to have a cup of coffee with friends in a cozy cafe, then talking, laughing and enjoy the people outside quickly pass by.
Some friends today have not met even for half year, but when we met, we still feel warm and close. Friend is friend, the relation won't be fade even if with lack of contact. Perhaps we all grow up now, so this time when we were chatting, I do find that everybody has their own headache, some in business some in private life. I have to say for my age, I take much more responsibilities than before, guess same to my friends. Our talking is not like before just tease each other or talk something fun about others, more or less we talked about business and future. Perhaps our dreaming age has really passed, we start to think about something which I have thought only my parents would think about.
Absolutley people is not only an individual in this society, the pure own life does not exist today unless we have infantile autism. If you ask yourself how much you live for yourself and how much for others, guess no body can answer it. Sometimes we feel tired, not because we demand too much, but the external requires us for that. People to this world, just like an ant to a forest, large part of time we are passive and weak in big environment, we do not really understand why we endless work, we keep doing just because all other ants doing like that.
Sometimes I confess little bit more self center can make life easier, but guess no this gene in my personality, so I have to keep up with my current life, and try to make everybody happy. I don't know if it is way I need, but I know it is the way I have to go. Fortunately I have friends who are generous to me too, guess it is part of reward to all my afford.
Some friends today have not met even for half year, but when we met, we still feel warm and close. Friend is friend, the relation won't be fade even if with lack of contact. Perhaps we all grow up now, so this time when we were chatting, I do find that everybody has their own headache, some in business some in private life. I have to say for my age, I take much more responsibilities than before, guess same to my friends. Our talking is not like before just tease each other or talk something fun about others, more or less we talked about business and future. Perhaps our dreaming age has really passed, we start to think about something which I have thought only my parents would think about.
Absolutley people is not only an individual in this society, the pure own life does not exist today unless we have infantile autism. If you ask yourself how much you live for yourself and how much for others, guess no body can answer it. Sometimes we feel tired, not because we demand too much, but the external requires us for that. People to this world, just like an ant to a forest, large part of time we are passive and weak in big environment, we do not really understand why we endless work, we keep doing just because all other ants doing like that.
Sometimes I confess little bit more self center can make life easier, but guess no this gene in my personality, so I have to keep up with my current life, and try to make everybody happy. I don't know if it is way I need, but I know it is the way I have to go. Fortunately I have friends who are generous to me too, guess it is part of reward to all my afford.
April 15, 2009
depressed lonely day
tired day today, don't know it is because of my cold or working pressure or less sleep, whole day my head is heavy and no interest for anything, all I need right now is to jump into my big bed, think nothing and sleep for 12 hours.
Finally I found sometime to plan my US trip today, I shorten my trip from 10 days to a week as business seems warm up recently, also some new potential projects, so I do not want to spend too long time overseas. Also the trip this time is business trip, I don't want to put too much personal plan together. I believe I will have enough opportunities to visit US if only I want, better have pure vacation there, and my next target is Hawaii as I do need more sunshine and beach life after too long time in big city.
But now I will stop my day dream, this lonely woman will prepare for early sleep like an old woman.
Finally I found sometime to plan my US trip today, I shorten my trip from 10 days to a week as business seems warm up recently, also some new potential projects, so I do not want to spend too long time overseas. Also the trip this time is business trip, I don't want to put too much personal plan together. I believe I will have enough opportunities to visit US if only I want, better have pure vacation there, and my next target is Hawaii as I do need more sunshine and beach life after too long time in big city.
But now I will stop my day dream, this lonely woman will prepare for early sleep like an old woman.
April 13, 2009
color, flavor and mood
again a busy working day, my head was almost never up during the working time, also seems I catch cold, the running nose with me for whole day, perhpas that's why I feel little bit exhausted today. No plan for any medicine, guess my resistance is strong enough for such small sickness, wish tomorrow morning when I open my eyes, the energy comes back to me again.
Now everywhere is full of spring flavor, so I bought a rosy bed covers also another yellow one, then I can have some spring color in my little apartment. Sometimes life is pale when I unconsciously sink into routine life, it is difficult to really jump out of spiritless life unless some stimulation externally. Perhaps that's why I like using different perfume every morning, it can influence my mood more or less. No idea if everybody is like me, but it has been proved that different color can take us different feeling, maybe tomorrow I should wear red to cheer up little bit.
But now I only need a some light warm color to calm down myself so I can have a long deep sleep in my big bed later.
Now everywhere is full of spring flavor, so I bought a rosy bed covers also another yellow one, then I can have some spring color in my little apartment. Sometimes life is pale when I unconsciously sink into routine life, it is difficult to really jump out of spiritless life unless some stimulation externally. Perhaps that's why I like using different perfume every morning, it can influence my mood more or less. No idea if everybody is like me, but it has been proved that different color can take us different feeling, maybe tomorrow I should wear red to cheer up little bit.
But now I only need a some light warm color to calm down myself so I can have a long deep sleep in my big bed later.
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